Wednesday 14 June 2017

Truth tries to hide by love

Sreekesh puthuvassery
Friday 16/06/2017 

" We lose ourselves in the things we love.
  We find ourselves there, too "
                                 - Kristin Martz

Love, the feeling is abundant with quotes, descriptions and comparisons by poets, writers and even by who is in love. But do you think love is eternal?. The answer is no. Love can't be a feeling that have existence neither eternal nor life long. In this article i would like to analyse love from different angles what really love itself.
We know most of the people around us especially new generation have a mentality of negligence to the personal questions. For example, what you got from your act?. Ans: it is not necessary to explain to you.  You know this is not the answer of above question. In olden days people try to analyse such questions if somebody ask. But now answers are above mentioned way. What is the reason for that?. Actually a person spending his energy and time for an act, whatever it may be, not getting any good result and the situation becomes worsen​ than actually he expected. It means he is simply a waste. This is the real reason that mind not accept this bitter truth. That's why the person reacts badly towards those kind of questions. But if he really understand what is the question and its answer he will find out the reason for his failure. That is the only way to the path of corrective action. Unfortunately negligence prepare the person to choose wrong way that certainly take him to unhappiness. So such people becomes the perfect actors in life who playing the role of a pleasant individuals whole of their life time.
Like lot of other emotion, love also an emotion. Emotions are created by hormones. Means, emotions represent the material world which is actually not eternal. Because you know the things which is created will be distroyed one day. It is a universal truth. Emotions are connected to your thoughts. If we compare thoughts are trees with so many branches, emotions are the flowers​ on it. Both are physical in nature even we can't catch or hold it. When we love a person we have sweet emotions towards him on other hand when we hate the same person we have bitter, horrible and ugly emotions towards him. So what we love actually and what is love actually?
Love is a feeling that creates mind a pleasant feeling. Love is that can make you fresh, happy and think. If there is nothing new, you can't love anything so long. It will distroy the freshness and you will not think about it sincerely from the bottom of your heart. Human interested always in something new. That is his basic character. He can't continue in the material life in same level. Desire for something new creates hopes and love to live. If it fails generates dipression. So do you think a person can love other person life long?. Can't be. Especially in male and female relationship.
Love affairs related crimes and suicide are growing day by day. Not only between youngsters but also between the elders and old people. Attraction towards the opposite sex starts in teen age. This is the worst age children​ slips to wrong path. Love someone is never a wrong thing. But what people describe like love is not divine but simply a selfish act. So it should be take care, especially girls their own life and its path. Beacuse it is own responsibility to take care own life and career. Love someone is easy if it is right or wrong decision. But there is nobody to advise how to love a person and what love really it is. Most of the children keep distance and hide things from parents while they start love somebody. Easily get angry. Until then who take care them is going to the second grade in their mind and the only the lover gets ultimate position in their mind. Actually is this love?. If it is love how other family members loves them without expecting anything from them goes to second position?. Initially love makes restless, hungerless, to see and talk with the person all the time whom they love. such situations will remain whole life?. Such feelings making that person is their life and world. Can't live without him. But what happens further?. The lovers thinks they will love each other until the end of their life. But sincerely does it happens?.  Reality that the presence of that person directly or indirectly makes feeling of happiness in other person's mind. That creates sweet emotion towards him. If the lover see the same person in worse situation, his actions making the lover angry and hatred. Then whom he/she actually loved ?. The best answer is you love yourself only none of the other. Now the person not making any pleasant feeling in your mind. Instead, about his thoughts and his presence irritating you. So you hate him. Means, through the action you proved it is only for you and for your happiness you choose that person. Now  the person can't  fulfill the need so no longer you need that person, Isn't?  Yes, that is its​ answer. So such emotions will not work so long anyway. Means love can't provide eternal or life long pleasant feeling for anybody. Because like other emotions like anger, jealous, fear, joy and surprise, love also a short term emotion.
If we regarding relationship of wife and husband also it is applicable to. Anybody loves the partner as same intensity  as they did in earlier days?. Such intensities may be last  for months or one or two years maximum. Balance all just acting. This pretending may be for the sake of the family or children etc. This is because nobody can love anybody life long. You can only love yourself life long. Why so happens? How can we avoid situation?. The actual root of the problem is love means the bitter truth of loving oneself only. If you break the concept you can love others​ life long which is essential for husband and wife relationship. Even though it is not perfect idea that can't provide you 100% pleasant feeling whole life. But atleast a greater extent to. So what is that concept. If you want to love anything, you should dissolve in to it. Means, if the partners sacrifice completely their interests and desires for other and join, support and accept partner interest and desires their will remain the happiness and freshness in the life. This will happen only when both are doing the same only. If one have ruling mentality over the other will not work this idea. That will makes you an actor to play the role or pretend infront of your partner to show that you loves him/her so much.
In this way if we consider the grade of love, Parents love is the greatest​ one. That love is free from any possessiveness and don't expect from you anything. They burnt out their life for children. Sacrificing their own desires for them. Their is no complaint for them if you do or not your duties towards them. Internally all the individuals​ desires their own ultimate freedom. Nobody want to be in any bonds that makes barrier to their ultimate happiness even that bonds as daughter, son, wife, husband, brother or sister whatever it may be. But because of some reasons they continues in the container of such relationships. Only the parents sacrificing uncontitionally all of their desires and finding out their happiness in children happiness. So basically if we thinks the most beautiful love is from the parents. That is the same reason it is telling divine. Even not together with and always see or talk, you don't have any doubt your brother or sister loves you. Reason for the real problem, you  the one define the love or approaching it with a prejudice mentality.
Is love is divine?. Some tells love is God. We understand it is just an emotion create by hormone related thoughts and it is not eternal. So how can be it divine?. We can't reach such conclusion even someone trying to find foolish justification like the list of things god provide for  you. we don't know love is God. However what we know at least dog is love. Something like spelling mistake. Some times people tells i love my family and i will die for the family. But for any reason cracks happen in the family relationships possibly changes this opinion. This is happen in case of lovers and even  husband and wife relationships. Reason for divorces​ and remarriages. So any of the above relation can maintain warmth of life long love. Because reality you love yourself not others.
Why static pleasure situation not possible? Does it possible in any way?.  Actually in material life you can't maintain your continuous state of love and pleasure. Because your happiness depends other living or non living things. You may notice most of the people don't have time to spend with their friends, families and relatives. But hey have enough time to spend with their smart phones. Why?. Because it gives new ideas, thoughts and happiness each time you use. So people think their bondage circle can't provide such level of happiness to their mind. So intentionally or unintentionally they like to get detach from such circles.  But these pleasures will be remain same level until it can provide freshness to your mind in the limit of your bandwidth. When repeatation start you will be get bore from those gadgets.
So in conclusion, love is an emotion makes pleasure to your mind. If it is dependable can't be provided stable happiness. Their dies the love. So if your happiness independent of people and things only will remains life long. That is possible when you detached from all physical relationships with living and non living things, when you have no desire to anything. When you start to dissolve in you the real static feel of pleasure starts. That is what the gauthama Buddha and so many other yogis did.
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